Our Boys: Raising strong, happy sons from boyhood to manhood

With special guests:

• Richard Aston & Ruth Kerr

On this program we get to talk to good people who are making a difference in our society. Our guests today, Richard Aston and his wife Ruth Kerr, fit this category and they speak to us from across the ditch in New Zealand.

For the last thirteen years Richard and Ruth through the Big Buddy program have been providing fatherless boys with a buddy, someone who can show them the way to manhood. These buddies are volunteer mentors who are carefully chosen by going through a detailed screening. The boys know they can rely on their buddies to turn up when expected and listen to what is happening in the boys’ lives. And they get to do fun things.

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Are Fathers Important for Adolescents?

With special guest:

• Dr William (Bill) Fabricius

Most studies in the area of children and families concentrate on the influence of mothers. Fathers are understudied in this area. For this reason we welcome the results of a soon to be published paper on the role of fathers and we have the opportunity today to speak with one of its lead authors, Associate Professor Dr William Fabricius who joins us from New York. The title of the paper is Effects of the Inter-Parental Relationship on Adolescents’ Emotional Security and Adjustment: The Important Role of Fathers.

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Transformation: Turning tragedy into triumph

With special guest:

• Dr Tim Sharp

Our guest in this program is Dr Tim Sharp, also known as Dr Happy.

Tim has produced a new book Transformation: Turning tragedy into triumph and he joins us today to spread a little happiness. The book has eleven people making a contribution with a story about themselves or someone close to them. Some of the contributors’ stories are well-known while others tell of living a quiet life before they reached a turning point in their life story. Looking outside themselves brought surprising benefits not only to others but to the contributors as well.

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Reflective Parenting

With special guest:

• Dr Alistair Cooper

“She has a mind of her own” is something we hear often enough when parents are talking about the challenges they face in trying to relate with their children. Yet if parents accepted this as fact and tried to find out what was going on inside this other mind the world would become a lot less complicated for both parent and child. With co-author Dr Sheila Redfern our guest today Dr Alistair Cooper has written a new book Reflective Parenting: A Guide to Understanding What’s Going on in Your Child’s Mind showing how to read your child’s mind and use this knowledge to improve your relationship. If you follow the principles of reflective parenting in everyday interactions it will help your child achieve her full potential and save your sanity.

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Male Health in Australia - Men’s Health Week 2016

With special guest:

• Dr Gary Misan

The health of Australians in terms of life expectancy is good by world standards.

However when we examine life expectancy it is often forgotten in these times of women demanding greater empowerment that males in Australia die more frequently than females in all age groups. Male life expectancy is 4.6 years less than females and the gap has increased not declined since 1900. In remote and very remote areas average male life expectancy is 4 years lower than in more populated areas. For Aboriginal males the average life expectancy is only 59 years a full 6 years less than for Aboriginal females. Furthermore male health extends beyond the purely biological aspects and encompasses a range of issues affecting the health and wellbeing of men and boys.

Against this background the Government introduced Australia’s first Men’s Health Policy in 2010, some 30 years after the Women’s Health Policy appeared. We ask our guest today Dr Gary Misan what changes have we seen since the 2010 introduction of the Policy and to what extent has it been picked up at the state and regional level.

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Unfinished Business: Women Men Work Family

With special guest:

• Dr Anne-Marie Slaughter

When our guest today Dr Anne-Marie Slaughter wrote an article for The Atlantic magazine in 2012 it created what could be described as a firestorm. The article had an estimated 2.7 million views and sparked intense debate. Someone seen as a leading light in feminism was questioning the feminist narrative.

The article was called “Why women still can’t have it all” but clearly there was some unfinished business and this became the title of her new book Unfinished Business: Women Men Work Family in which she uncovers the missing piece of the puzzle.

Anne-Marie is clearly a gifted communicator as demonstrated in several high-powered careers, most notably her time as Director of Policy

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Planning in the US State Department working alongside Hillary Clinton, the Secretary of State.

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Year of the Dad

With special guest:

• Nick Thorpe

A special program to celebrate National Families Week

Our guest today is Nick Thorpe who is used to taking on big challenges. One such challenge was to voyage to Easter Island on a raft of reeds. Now he is working on making Scotland the best place in the world for children to grow up and as part of that campaign he is promoting 2016 as the Year of the Dad. This is part of the campaign organised by the Fathers Network Scotland with support from the Scottish Government.

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Parents Acting Badly

With special guest:

• Dr Jennifer Harman

Why is it that we never see young animals rejecting a caring parent in the way we see some children acting? The behaviour of the other parent may be the cause and this strange behaviour may be due to Parental Alienation.

Our guest today is Associate Professor Jennifer Harman who tells us that the problem of Parental Alienation is all too common and getting worse around the world yet it is still decried by some as “junk science”.

Jennifer tells us that the scientific analysis of Parental Alienation is still at a beginning stage. The research is still focussing on the description of Parental Alienation because we have not yet reached the predictive stage. This is the normal scientific approach to research and can be compared with where we are up to with the topic du jour, domestic violence. However no-one denies the existence of domestic violence in the way they once did.

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Private Bill: In Love and War

With special guest:

• Barrie Cassidy

It makes for a rare occasion when Barrie Cassidy goes to the other side of the microphone. Barrie is one of Australia’s most respected and experienced political journalists and we welcome him to Dads on the Air.

But we are not going to discuss politics in this program. We are going to find out more about Barrie’s father Bill who is the main subject in Barrie’s book Private Bill: In Love and War.

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Being Dads

With special guest:

• David Willans

There are changes happening in Western societies that are hard to ignore. Our Dads are getting more involved in one-on-one relationships with their children and if that means reducing the time put into the provider role then that is the price for the modern family.

Our guest today David Willans speaks to us from London and he tells us what led to a decision he made in 2014 regarding a change in his family arrangements. David cannot now even remember what the issue was with his son but he clearly remembers yelling at his then 5 year old. We all know the feeling when you are under pressure and a child seems oblivious. It can be a bit like a kettle reaching boiling point.

On this day two years ago David saw that his young son was being attacked by an angry man that he didn’t recognise as himself. Rather than being the great Dad he had always aspired to be he had become a cross Dad and his 5 year old child did not know how to respond.

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The Fathering Project

With special guest:

• John Bond

Our guest today is the son of a very famous father, Alan Bond who is forever linked with Australia winning the America’s Cup in 1983. John Bond was there for this hugely significant event in the USA, one which lifted the whole country. Where to after that?

John Bond returned to Australia and got his motivation when he heard an address by Professor Bruce Robinson which inspired him to support the most powerful force for reducing the chances of our kids falling victim to drugs, suicide and crime. Having an effective father or even a father figure leads to reduced incidence of crime, alcohol and drug abuse; it enhances mental health and self-esteem, leads to improved school engagement and performance, social competence and improved health behaviours generally. Professor Robinson, who has previously been a guest on Dads on the Air provided the research which is compelling.

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SHTUM

With special guest:

• Jem Lester

In this program we cross to London to discuss with author Jem Lester his new novel SHTUM. For anyone who has missed the British television shows and is not sure what “shtum” means Jem tells us that it means “silent or uncommunicative”. That is what a loving father may face when he has a child with profound autism.

The book SHTUM won the 2013 PFD/City University Prize for Fiction but in writing the book Jem tells us he draws on his own experiences having raised a boy now nearly 16 who is profoundly autistic.

This is one of those books you do not want to put down. One of the characters refers to the power of words and yet the most eloquent communication between a father and a son is a non-verbal moment where the connection is “hilarious, fleeting and precious.”

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Didge Group Connection to Culture

With special guest:

• Stuart McMinn

Our National Close the Gap Day program

Stuart McMinn is working in a program that draws on tens of thousands of years of culture to benefit our youth, in particular our young Indigenous men.

Following on from the vision of local Indigenous man, Uncle Bob Williams from the Mingaletta Aboriginal & Torres Strait Islanders Corporation, Interrelate Central Coast supported the establishment of the Young Boys Didgeridoo and Cultural Group, ‘Didge’, in mid-2011. This new group offered cultural and other supports which had an immediate and significant impact.

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Protecting Emilie

With special guest:

• Lisa Heim

A check in the index of topics will reveal that we have explored parental alienation from different angles by talking to academics, psychologists and researchers. Today we cross to Florida in the USA to hear a very real account of what this type of psychological child abuse looks like to those who are personally caught up in it.

Lisa Heim is the author of Protecting Emilie and in this book she tells the story of what happens to people catapulted into this nightmare world of parental alienation, something that could happen to you, your neighbour or parents on the other side of the world. Lisa gives an account of her relationship with her husband, his daughter Emilie, in the title of the book, and her own daughter, as it was affected by the conflict instigated by Emilie’s mother.

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Fathering Adventures

With special guest:

• Darren Lewis

He doesn’t claim to have been the beginning of all fathering adventures but in July 2008 Darren Lewis started an organisation by that name which has made many fathers and their children come alive through adventure based activities. Darren quotes Howard Thurman in recognising that the world needs people who have come alive.

We live in a world where fathers commonly spend just 8 minutes a day with each of their children, sometimes it is as little as 57 seconds on a week day. Darren provides an opportunity for Dads to spend dedicated time with their children in a fun environment.

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Separate Well or Separation Hell

With special guest:

• Peter Nowosielski

If we are planning on buying a house, a car or even a pair of shoes most of us will engage in some research before embarking down that road. Therefore it is passingly strange that when we arrive at a place where decisions are going to have a major impact on our lives and those we love the most our research is often limited to asking a few friends what they think. If professional advice is sought it is usually from the lawyers who in our adversarial system have most to gain from promoting conflict so that it finishes up in court.

Our guest today is a founder of Separate Well consultancy services providing expert independent advice on how to do the best for your family if separation from your partner is the only option. And in his book Separate Well or Separation Hell Peter draws on over ten years’ experience to dispel myths associated with separation and divorce. Peter provides practical advice in down to earth language. You will not find any lawyers’ jargon here.

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Out on a Limb: A Single Father’s Guide to his Family’s Lore of the Jungle

With special guest:

• Simon Turner

Simon Turner’s book Out on a Limb is refreshingly plain speaking. To read the book is like sitting down with a mate who has some important, perhaps life-changing, information to share. Using language we can all relate to, Simon takes us through the jungle that confronts a father at the gates of a Family Law dispute with the mother of their children.

Simon discusses what he describes as the three golden rules that were passed on to him informally by a Family Court Judge in an Art Gallery rather than a court room. Based on these golden rules Simon gives some invaluable ideas about how a dad can give himself the best chance of continuing to parent his child after a separation or divorce.

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How much father? How have dads evolved since the 1930s?

With special guest:

• Dr Peter West

How have dads evolved since the 1930s? In the 1990s, Dr Peter West interviewed a wide variety of men who grew up in the decades between the Depression and the final decade on the 20^th Century. The result of those interviews was the book Fathers, Sons and Lovers: Men Talk About Their Lives from the 1930s to Today. From footballers to policemen, from railway workers to farmers, he provided a rare glimpse into the lived realities or everyday Australian dads.

In this program, Glen Poole of Helping Men interviews Peter about the changing nature of fatherhood since the 1930s, asks how things have changed for dads since he wrote his book nearly 20 years ago and explores what fatherhood holds for the next generation of dads.

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Flesh Wounds

With special guest:

• Richard Glover

Our guest today is famous.

Richard Glover is the host of the top rating Drive show on 702 ABC Sydney, and the weekly podcast of Thank God It’s Friday. He is the author of twelve books including the bestseller In Bed with Jocasta. His new book Flesh Wounds is in a similar humorous vein but the big difference this time is that it is the real story of his unusual, to say the least, upbringing.

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The Making of Men

With special guest:

• Dr Arne Rubinstein

“If we don’t initiate our boys they will burn down the village to feel the heat.” This is an African proverb quoted by our guest today Dr Arne Rubinstein that could describe the situation for young men today in Australia and other societies far from Africa.

The Making of Men is a book that Dr Arne Rubinstein has written after seeing first-hand in his medical practice the disasters that can befall boys who are not initiated into life as a man in the community. Arne recognises the qualities valued in young boys when they are naturally loving, energetic, funny, creative and sensitive. What happens then, when so many kids get into trouble as teenagers?

In this program we talk about one of the most important ways in which the community or village can play a role in bringing the boy through to being a valuable man in the community.

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