Honest-Ribbon.org

With special guest:

• Erin Pizzey

There is a constant barrage year round in the press and on TV denouncing domestic violence against women. While this is in itself a worthy cause the zealots can not only overlook the information available but also lose track of the objective.

Our guest today is someone well qualified to discuss the world of victims of domestic violence. Erin Pizzey is a woman herself who experienced firsthand a violent family life. The intergenerational nature of domestic violence led to an early life of being violent herself after being exposed to this form of violence from both her parents.

But Erin was able to put a stop to her own tendency after receiving mentoring from outside the family. Looking outside herself Erin then set up Chiswick Women’s Aid in the UK. This was the first shelter for victims of domestic violence set up anywhere in the world. Erin Pizzey should be revered among those who want to expand the provision of care for women.

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How much father? How have dads evolved since the 1930s?

With special guest:

• Dr Peter West

How have dads evolved since the 1930s? In the 1990s, Dr Peter West interviewed a wide variety of men who grew up in the decades between the Depression and the final decade on the 20^th Century. The result of those interviews was the book Fathers, Sons and Lovers: Men Talk About Their Lives from the 1930s to Today. From footballers to policemen, from railway workers to farmers, he provided a rare glimpse into the lived realities or everyday Australian dads.

In this program, Glen Poole of Stop Male Suicide interviews Peter about the changing nature of fatherhood since the 1930s, asks how things have changed for dads since he wrote his book nearly 20 years ago and explores what fatherhood holds for the next generation of dads.

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Flesh Wounds

With special guest:

• Richard Glover

Our guest today is famous.

Richard Glover is the host of the top rating Drive show on 702 ABC Sydney, and the weekly podcast of Thank God It’s Friday. He is the author of twelve books including the bestseller In Bed with Jocasta. His new book Flesh Wounds is in a similar humorous vein but the big difference this time is that it is the real story of his unusual, to say the least, upbringing.

We got Richard on the other side of the microphone from his usual radio role to explore with us his journey from being one of the first artificially inseminated babies in Australia. This was followed by a childhood in Papua-New Guinea and then on to maintaining a relationship with a mother who lived in a fantasy world and a father who let the real world get on top of him.

The book is described by one reviewer as “sad, funny, revealing, optimistic and hopeful”. This is a clear indication that we can all relate to at least some of Richard’s story, perhaps to our surprise.

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The Making of Men

With special guest:

• Dr Arne Rubinstein

“If we don’t initiate our boys they will burn down the village to feel the heat” This is an African proverb quoted by our guest today Dr Arne Rubinstein that could describe the situation for young men today in Australia and other societies far from Africa.

The Making of Men is a book that Dr Arne Rubinstein has written after seeing first-hand in his medical practice the disasters that can befall boys who are not initiated into life as a man in the community. Arne recognises the qualities valued in young boys when they are naturally loving, energetic, funny, creative and sensitive. What happens then, when so many kids get into trouble as teenagers?

In this program we talk about one of the most important ways in which the community or village can play a role in bringing the boy through to being a valuable man in the community.

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Ugly: A beaut story about one very ugly kid

With special guest:

• Robert Hoge

Robert Hoge has a daughter Imogen who sums it up best. She said about Robert’s book Ugly “It’s important to tell your story especially when you’re different”

As one of the many roles that our guest today has filled with distinction he is an advocate for those with a disability and today we hear what it is like to grow up in a special club.

When Robert was 4 years old his parents decided on his behalf that because of his birth condition the best way forward was amputation on his legs and major operations on his face. While the operations were medical firsts and very successful they still left the young child with prosthetic legs and an unusual face that would draw sometimes unwanted attention. We hear from Robert today how he drew strength from his loving family and how his father responded when his youngest child needed support.

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The Men’s Shed Movement: The Company of Men

With special guest:

• Prof Barry Golding AM

When we think of great Australian inventions we might be referring to the Black Box Flight Recorder, electronic pacemakers, cochlear implants or even the stump-jump plough. But today we talk about another Australian invention that has spread internationally and saved thousands of men’ lives.

Our guest today is Dr Barry Golding who is the honorary patron of the Australian Men’s Shed Association and he provides a fascinating insight into the development and growth of this iconic Australian success story. Barry Golding gives us the benefit of his fifteen years of research in his new book The Men’s Shed Movement: The Company of Men. In talking to us today Barry lets us discover what actually goes on inside the Men’s Sheds we see as we pass through so many country towns.

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Men of Honour

With special guest:

• Glen Gerreyn

Our guest today is Glen Gerreyn a man by choice as distinct from being born male. This personal development did not happen when he became a champion athlete but rather by some important choices that Glen has made in his life. So what does it mean to be a man, a real man? And what are these choices?

Glen has spoken to groups around Australia and around the world on the topic of men of honour and some of the content probably comes under the heading of “secret men’s business”. In these talks no subject is taboo. Because so many fatherless boys in our community do not have a mentor they can confide in, Glen often finds that no-one else has ever spoken to our young men so frankly in language they understand.

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Schools of Fish

With special guest:

• Alan Sampson

Schools of Fish won the 2015 Finch Memoir Prize for author Alan Sampson, a Queenslander, who by telling us about his own experiences lets us find out much about the importance of a father’s relationship with his children. A big part of the story relates to Alan’s role as Principal at the well-known Cavendish Road State High School in Brisbane. There are times at school when personal courage is required as well as unshakable integrity if favourable results are to be achieved.

At the same time as we get this fascinating look into the real world of a school Principal we get a growing realisation that there were issues on the home front with Alan’s youngest child and these could not be ignored. Alan had to find out if his strict authoritarian approach, first taught to him by his own father, and applied in his school roles will also work at home with his youngest child who is definitely different.

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From Poppy with Love: Letters from a Grandfather to the Grandchildren He Isn’t Allowed to See

With special guest:

• Rev Dr John Killinger

In today’s program we are invited into the usually private world of conversations between a grandparent and his grandchildren. Strangely we can get the message very clearly from the other side of the world but the grandchildren themselves are completely unaware of the one way conversations in the letters written to them, letters that are so tender, thoughtful, wise and loving.

In his book From Poppy with Love: Letters from a Grandfather to the Grandchildren He Isn’t Allowed to See Dr John Killinger addresses his pain at being excluded from his four grandchildren in the best way he knows how by writing letters setting out the lives and dreams and personalities of the grandparents they were prevented from seeing. This has by no means been an easy task as it is a constant reminder of the separation. However John has benefitted from the cathartic effect of his writing and he hopes that one day his grandchildren will have the opportunity to read the letters contained in three volumes published by The Intermundia Press. In this way they will be able to get an understanding of their provenance. 

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Not All Superheroes Wear Capes

With special guest:

• Quentin Kenihan

Quentin crashes Dads on the Air?

Our guest today is Quentin Kenihan who first came to public attention over thirty years ago when he was interviewed by Mike Willesee for national TV. All these years later we hear again from Quentin about a series of extraordinary experiences, superhero adventures and also trips to the other end of the spectrum when it all seemed very bleak.

At times Quentin has battled depression, loneliness, fear, anxiety and pain. But Quentin has never let disappointment keep him low for long. Before you know it he has his zest for life back again and he is off chasing another goal from his bucket list that is constantly being updated.

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COOKING for Kids BY DADS

 

With special guest:

• Mick Both

When you listen to Mick’s interview, just like when you see his face looking straight at you on the cover of his new book you know the sort of bloke he is. Mick is a straight shooter with a background in the military who takes us into the kitchen on a practical mission. COOKING for Kids BY DADS does not assume any prior knowledge of the essential art of cooking. In language we can all understand and with gorgeous photos we get the picture on how Dad can go from zero to hero with his kids and his family generally.

This book is most needed when Dad suddenly realises that for whatever reason he should be the one doing the cooking. This could be due to one-off events or when a more permanent arrangement is required and Dad cannot rely on a significant other to feed the hungry. Not that some Mums haven’t caught up with the benefits of being able to leave Dad in the kitchen or to brush up themselves on a few basics.

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Life in Limbo: My battle with depression, infertility and mental illness

With special guest:

• Matt Barwick

In his book Life in Limbo Matt Barwick says that men in their desire to be alpha-male typically hide behind an impenetrable wall of machismo. So if anyone asks “How ya going?” the response is most likely going to be a stoic “Yeah everything’s fine.” No-one must see any sign of weakness or fragility, particularly male friends. The result is that most men avoid open and honest communication about physical or mental health.

This book changes that expectation in a big way. Matt writes openly, candidly and even dispenses some laid back humour along the way in describing his own extreme personal experiences.

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Working Class Boy

With special guest:

• Jimmy Barnes

Normally we expect to listen to Jimmy Barnes’s creative output as the lead singer and one of the main songwriters for iconic Australian rock band Cold Chisel. But Jimmy has now produced Working Class Boy which has become an Australian bestselling book.

This is not the story of that well-known band or his more recent exploration of the soul music catalogue. In today’s program we hear about Jimmy’s family upbringing and the influence that had on him in his adopted country.

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Help Change the Debate

With special guest:

• Bettina Arndt

When Bettina Arndt talked about sex on Australian national television and radio it was relatively easy to get the truth out in an area that tends to be covered up.

But our guest today must sometimes feel like a voice crying in the wilderness when she turns her attention to the domestic violence industry. It is hard to get the real story out when institutions such as the ABC and the daily newspapers generally contribute to the beat-up regarding domestic violence in our community.

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Fathers Reaching Out

With special guest:

• Mark Williams

Our guest in today’s program is Mark Williams who has been awarded “Inspirational Father of the Year” at the Pride of Britain awards. This is impressive enough but it also shows how far he has come since the birth of his son Ethan in 2004.

Both Mark and his wife Michelle suffered crippling anxiety after the birth and Mark hit rock bottom when he began to experience suicidal thoughts. And yet the reason for the torrent of negative emotions and spiralling depression had less to do with their son than the mental health issues that were confronting them. In hindsight Mark recognises that he had experienced a condition long recognised in mothers, that of post-natal depression.

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The Greatness of Dads

With special guest:

• Kirsten Matthew

Kirsten Matthew was inspired by her father to take on the Big Apple where she worked as a journalist for ten years. This is a huge achievement considering that she arrived in New York without even a green card, no job offers not even any friends. At a low point Kirsten rang her father who gave some simple advice to get on with it and that was enough to get her established.

After that experience and lots of other insights, wisdoms and truths from her father Kirsten realised that the universal threads of fatherhood can be found the world over. So she set about the task of recording some quotes, song lyrics, artwork and images of dads throughout history and around the world. The result of these efforts is a beautifully presented book The Greatness of Dads.

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Youth Express

With special guest:

• James Winter

Making a living in the Australian theatre has never been an easy task. Our guest today is James Winter an actor and director who has raised the level of difficulty significantly.

James draws on his over 20 years’ experience in the arts industry to create performance with non-performers, particularly the marginalised and at risk youthful members of our community. In doing this work through the Belvoir St Theatre’s Outreach Program, Youth Express, James engages with young people who may be homeless and find themselves excluded from mainstream education.

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Father’s Day is Special

With special guest:

• Warwick Marsh

Today we welcome Warwick Marsh as we approach Father’s Day in 2016. Warwick started the Dads4 Kids Fatherhood Foundation not long after Dads on the Air first hit the airwaves and has been one of our most frequent guests over the years.

Warwick brings enormous enthusiasm to everything he does and he does a lot. To get the message out about what it can mean to be a father Warwick has through the Dads4 Kids Foundation produced Community Service Announcements which have been taken up by network television stations. We urge everyone to see these vignettes, if not on your local TV station then on Dads4Kids YouTube channel. In the 2016 edition it tears at your heartstrings to hear a range of children from many different backgrounds provide a script with the simple word “Dad” or sometimes “Daddy”.

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Fathers and Daughters – What are the issues?

With special guest:

• Prof Linda Nielsen

Our guest, Professor Linda Nielsen speaks to us today from North Carolina in the United States about a topic that nearly everyone has a stake in but on which there is very little guidance. How important is the relationship between a daughter and her father? This topic has been explored by Dr Nielsen in her latest book Father-Daughter Relationships: Contemporary Research & Issues.

Many studies have been directed at the importance of a mother’s relationships with her children. But a father may need some reassurance about the value of his relationship with his daughter particularly if he feels more comfortable with his son. The first thing we get to check with Dr Nielsen is what is it that fathers do for their daughters? Are they really needed?

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The Parental Alienation Syndrome

With special guest:

• Linda Gottlieb Kase

In today’s program we go to New York to find out the latest on the way Parental Alienation is treated by the Courts and by therapists internationally. While Parental Alienation Syndrome (or PAS) still appears to be a controversial topic in Australia there is no difficulty in recognising this evil for what it is in the USA.

In Linda Gottlieb Kase’s book she describes 56 alienated children and 32 alienated parents from her experience in practice. In these studies there are more mothers being the alienators with fathers being the target but this is put down to the syndrome being opportunistic rather than any particular propensity of either sex. In the USA as in Australia the mothers get a greater share of time with the children awarded by the Courts and accordingly their opportunity to alienate the children is also greater. Interestingly Linda Gottlieb Kase says that if fathers were awarded more time with their children it is likely that they would be more likely to be the alienators.

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